


High all the time (to keep you off my mind)

by Livingshroom



Category: Big Brother RPF
Genre: Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Dry Humping, Fingering, Gay Panic, M/M, Marijuana, Masturbation, Phone Sex, Praise Kink, Sexual Repression, Unresolved Feelings, kneck kisses, mild S/D undertones, self discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 03:48:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2334143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livingshroom/pseuds/Livingshroom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Oh, god, Zach, baby. You sound like you just smoked all the weed that you own in one sitting. Please tell me you wouldn't do that!"<br/>"Maybe- just a little."<br/>"A little or a lot?"<br/>"The third option," Zach giggled into the phone because Frankie's voice sounded red now- strained and raw. It was a combination of the tension and anticipation that made Zach's toes curl, stomach twist, and his pulse quicken. One minute into the conversation, and he was already hard.<br/>Zach may have been high, but this was a new low.</p>
            </blockquote>





	High all the time (to keep you off my mind)

Zach has always been a constant swing of highs and lows. One moment he was on the top of the Big Brother house, Frankie's arms around his shoulder as they crawled into the HOH bed and he felt as though he had already won the half million dollars. The next moment, Frankie was trying to get him out the house, and he felt like he should self-evict.

Derrick won first place,Frankie second and Zach was America's favorite player. He was shocked and honored to receive the money, but the whole night was a blur of confetti and cheering and Frankie's arm around him once again.

Zach was at a high point, and he couldn't have been bitter if he tried. All the 'betrayal' was a joke with the music pumping, and Frankie pulling at his hand for him to dance.

"Come on- let me grind on you," Frankie whispered into his ear as if anyone could have heard him over the thumping of the bass. Zach just giggled and let himself be pulled forward.

They were both disgustingly sober and Frankie's hands where all over him as the room swayed with the motion of the bodies dancing, but it felt as though it was just them. Zach leaned back into his touch and ground back until he was flustered.

Then Frankie's pushed them into the bathroom, and Zach wasn't sure why they were both going into the one stall, but he was too happy to give a shit. God, Frankie could have told him they where going to fly to the moon and he would have asked _when?_ at this point.

Frankie let go of him as he fumbled with the lock, and Zach's hazy mind was content at the idea of the being alone together. It was like he had been waiting all summer for this moment.

"Zach- god- I wanna be with you," Frankie's whispered lovely nothings in his ear, his hands around Zach's waist, and Zach nodded along as he looked into those warm eyes. Everything about Frankie was glowing.

"Me too, dude. You're such an amazing person, and I love how you're so smart and genuine and funny and- fuck I could just go on. God, you're my favorite- I want to be best friends forever."

"Why not more?" Frankie's hands had wandered up Zach's shirt to caress his nipples like he usually does, but there was nothing teasing in Frankie's expression. Frankie leaned up on his tip toes, and their lips were inches away.

Frankie was all bright eyes and flushed cheeks, and Zach wanted him. He wanted to push him into the wall and kiss those lips, but he knew that there was no going back or _no homo-ing_ this. Zach wanted and wanted and wanted.

Instead, Zach pushed Frankie away and shook his head mumbling about how he _shouldn't_ or _couldn't._

Frankie looked vulnerable under the dim light. Zach's heart clenched at the sight of Frankie -who was always so brave and beautiful and bold- staring at him as though he was lost. The expression was only a split second.

"I was just, um, joking my Zach Attack. Come on- I'll be your wingman if you want and help you find some smokebomb."

Frankie was genuine in his offer, but Zach wasn't genuine in his interest. Every girl Frankie brought back couldn't hold his attention for long. He kept wandering back to Frankie, and they went back to the hotel room together.

He cuddled against Frankie the whole night, massaging his back, in silence. Zach held him tight and didn't want to let go. He thought about how this was right and how it should always be this way, but he was afraid to say it because Frankie would take it differently.

Zach had everything: an amazing family, his little broski, adoring fans, a decent amount of prize money, and a trip to Germany. So why did he feel like he had just lost everything when Frankie shifted away from him in the bed and told him to go to sleep?

In the morning, Frankie was gone, and Zach was heading on a plane to Florida with a hangover. The plane rose, but his heart sank as he watched LA get farther and farther away.

 

                                               -------------------------------------- --------------------------------------

 

Zach had locked himself up in his room after he arrived home. Sure, he had missed his family- especially his little broski- but he couldn't explain anything to them. His mother experienced it differently than him because she had watched the ongoings of the house from the live feeds, and it wasn't the same as having lived it. Peyton just keep asking about Frankie and whether they were really going to take him to play golf.

("We'll see, okay, bro?")

Even his social media accounts where flooded with images and messages about Big Brother that he didn't want to sort through. The amount that he was loved was shocking, and he loved to read  positive tweets or text posts, but it only took him a couple minutes before he stumbled on Frankie hate. He closed out the tabs.

Zach pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts. He had so many texts from all his friends, mostly congratulations, but he wasn't sure he wanted to talk to any of them.

He stared at Frankie's contact info. He was saved under Zankie, and there was a quirky picture of him blowing a kiss. Zach's finger hovered over the call button.

How many weeks had it been since they had last spoken? One? Two? Zach didn't want to admit how much the silence was killing him. He wanted to be cold and disinterested, but he was just sad without his best friend and cuddle buddy.

_-So u going 2 the club tonight or r u going to sulk in ur room, u fruitloop dingus?_

_-zachattack's hitting the clubs!,_ he replied to the text.

Zach went out with his old college friends and they joked around about the season and other bullshit. He found some thin, tan girl with blonde hair and brown eyes who had seen him on Big Brother. She gave him a handjob in the bathroom stall, and Zach wished he had drank.

"You're cute," she whispered, and Zach wasn't sure how to respond.

"Um, thanks. Look, sorry if this is rude or whatever, but can we get on with this?"

Zach used to think that sex was good even if it was bad- he was wrong.

The blonde didn't orgasm, although she faked it, and Zach came inside her thinking about how much he wished that Frankie was there instead. It was weird and awkward and messy, and the girl didn't ask for his number or look him in the eyes as they left the bathroom.

Zach's buddy's slapped him on the back and called him the man, and he laughed along with it. If this was the a high point of his life, then why did Zach feel like he wanted it to be over?

 

                                             -------------------------------------- --------------------------------------

 

Zach would stay up late just because he didn't want to dream. Frankie lived and breathed and stretched and laughed inside of his dreams, and Zach was afraid to close his eyes. When he did dream, they were back in the HOH bed, and Frankie was touching him sweetly and whispering in his ear and-

 _"Shit"_ Zach woke up sweating. When he reached down to touch himself, Zach tried to clear his mind and focus on the feeling. He came, cheeks burning, with Frankie's name on his lips.

Zach had always thought of himself as mostly straight-sure he had made out with a couple of guys -but he was starting to doubt himself as the days went on. He tried to get hard thinking of girls, which worked if he rubbed himself long enough, but he finished with only one person on his mind.

Zach called Frankie after 19 days- but who was counting?- and he was stoned out of his mind.

"Hello?"

"Heeey, there, Frankie," Zach giggled because his words kept getting caught on his tongue, "You sound like the color pink. Is that weird? I like that color, and your voice sounds just like that color."

 "Oh, god, Zach, baby. You sound like you just smoked all the weed that you own in one sitting. Please tell me you wouldn't do that!"

"Maybe- just a little."

"A little or a lot?"

"The third option," Zach giggled into the phone because Frankie's voice sounded red now- strained and raw. It was a combination of the tension and anticipation that made Zach's toes curl, stomach twist, and his pulse quicken. One minute into the conversation, and he was already hard.

Zach may have been high, but this was a new low.

He took another puff and leaned back against his bed as he listened to Frankie start to give him some half-assed lecture about not calling him when he was under the influence or something. Zach listened to Frankie's voice go up and down.

" _Frankiieee._ I'm so hungry and horny right now."  Zach’s hand kept stroking his chest, the way Frankie used to caress him, and he closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Zach. Look, I'm meeting up with a friend soon, and I can't do anything to help you. Now, why don't-"

"You could help me with the horny problem."

_"Mhh hhhmm?"_

"God, I miss you. Even your mean, red voice is nice to hear. Jus' keep talking, okay Frankie? Jus' tell me things like that you like me or that you want to touch me."

"Do you want me to touch you, Zach?" Frankie's voice was getting softer, and Zach's hand moved lower. He nodded as he fondled himself through his clothes, and it took him a couple blinks to realize Frankie couldn't see him nodding.

"Yeah. I wanna buy a bird nest bed so we could cuddle again. Those were good nights- I was so happy then and I didn’t want it to end- and I want you to touch me like that night and- and kiss me on the neck and- and”

“Shhh, calm down, Zach. You’re rambling. It’s okay, we can do this if you want to.”

Zach didn’t know what this was exactly, but Frankie seemed to understand it better than he did. All Zach wanted was Frankie to be here with him and to hold him and maybe even touch him and tell him that everything was alright.

"Yeah. I wanna buy a bird nest bed so we could cuddle again- that's what I'm gonna invest my Fan Fav money on. A big house with a bird's nest!"

"And what do you want to do when we're in your bird's nest bed? Do you want me to be there? Oh, I bet you do. I would let you give me massages until you fell asleep. Do you like the sound of that? _Hmmm_?"

"God- yes." Zach groaned into the phone. It was hard holding up his cell phone with his left hand and fondling himself with his right. He felt like there could be a simpler way to do this, but his mind was concentrating on Frankie's voice.

"Or maybe you wouldn't want to fall asleep this time. No, I think we would stay up all night. I could hold you and kiss you and tell you that I loved you," Frankie purred and Zach licked his lips, "Maybe hold you down and give you love bites until you're hard and breathless? Until you're desperate and begging for it? Until you pull down your pants and I reach around. And then-"

"What? And then what?" Zach growled in frustration. Zach had been lying there stroking himself contently when Frankie had paused.

"And then maybe you get the _fucking_ balls to call me when you're not as high as a _fucking_  kite!"

Frankie hung up the phone and left Zach with nothing but frustration and guilt.

 

                                  -------------------------------------- --------------------------------------

 

Zach's mom yelled at him for sleeping all day and generally doing nothing. She seemed more concerned than angry, but Zach was done dealing with that shit. This low was static and deep, and it made him want to crawl back into bed and do nothing. He hated to think about his life and how he was 24 years old and still had no idea what the hell he was doing. It made him want to get high again, but he had flushed away all his supplies after the first time.

Zach had tried to take his mind off of things by golfing with Peyton or hanging out with his old friends, but there was this constant sense of loss that prevented him from fully enjoying himself. He felt as though he had broken up with his girlfriend (not that he had much experience with girlfriends). He hated going on twitter or instagram and seeing a new picture of Frankie kissing or caressing or wrapped around some new hot boy. It was the _worst._

Zach had managed to keep himself from calling for- the pathetic grand total- of two days, but he was growing sick and tired of denying himself what he wanted. Honestly, why shouldn’t he call Frankie?

 _“HiIjustwantedtocallandsaysorry,”_ he whispered in one breathe.

“Are you high again, Zach? Because I don't really have time for games-”

“ _No!_   No I promise that I flushed all of my supplies out after- you know. Uh, yeah, I just wanted to call and tell you that I’m sorry and that I, uh, I miss you. Alot. And I was wondering if we could finish what we started last time?”Zach was rambling, but he didn't care because Frankie's friendship mean't a lot to him, and he wanted everything to be gravy between them.

There was a long pause, and Zach checked the phone to make sure that Frankie hadn’t hung up on him. The silence was deafening. He was about to backtrack and explain that this was all just an elaborate joke because Zach wasn't sure he could handle a rejection when Frankie spoke.

"Okay, but if we're going to have phone sex- oh, don't argue with me, Zachary, you know exactly what _this_ is. Then you're not allowed to pretend that this is platonic or just a 'bro' thing or a perk of our friendship. You're not allowed to pretend you're 100% hetero. _Hmmm_ lemme think...and you only cum when I say that you're allowed to. Do you understand?"

Zach gulped, already excited at Frankie's authoritative voice, and eagerly consented. _Yes, Frankie, god, yes._ Should he be concerned with how sober he was? How much he wanted _this_? How he had denied himself for so long?

"Tell me what you're doing, Zach."

"Um, I'm in bed. And, um, I'm wishing you where here too because you're honestly so hot and funny and perfect and-"

"Ugh, we're supposed to be jerking off not composing love letters, Zach. Listen and learn- I want you to slide your hand down your chest like I used to. Are you wearing a shirt?"

"No. Just my undies and socks."

"Good, now slowly play with your nipples- I know how sensitive they are. Gently rub them with your fingertips until they're hard, and then I want you to squeeze. Hard, Zachary. You like that don't you?" Frankie purred, and Zach moaned in agreement as he touched himself. It felt like he had been doing it all wrong for years. Everything was better with Frankie's voice playing in his ear, and his semi had turned into a full erection. He was writhing on his bed like a teenage boy who had just discovered how to masturbate.

 "Now slide your fingers lower down your chest. Go slowly now, Zach, there's no rush. Slowly, baby, slowly. Now fondle yourself over your underwear- lightly. Good. What a good boy you are," Zach whimpered at the praise and his own fingertips just barely touching himself, "Now tell me what you would want me to do if I was there? Can you do that for me?"

Zach felt warm all over and content to just stroke himself like last time , and, even without weed , he was having a hard time formulating coherent thoughts. Still, he wasn't about to disobey Frankie. He didn't _want_ to displease him; Zach had never wanted so badly to please someone than he did Frankie.

"Shit. Uh, I would want you to touch me-"

"Give me details. Where and how?"

"I would want you to, like, crawl on top of me, like you used to, and hold me down. And then maybe you would kiss my neck or my lips or even the tip of my, uh, dick. God, you would just kiss me forever everywhere and press me down on the bed so I couldn't move."

The sound of Frankie moaning, turned on by the words that he had said, made him giggle. Zach was still touching himself lightly, like Frankie had ordered, but the panting from Frankie's end was pushing his obedience. 

" _Fuck_ , Zach- you're killing me. God, not a word in weeks and now you're begging to be held down and fucked. You would look so good too with your eyes glazed and your mouth open as I sucked you off. Do you like the sound of that, baby? Oh, yeah, I bet you do. Why don't you reach down and grasp yourself? Slowly. I know you're excited, but I didn't say you could come yet. That's good-very good."

Zach wasn't sure how Frankie didn't sound wrecked yet. Zach, on the other hand, was shaking with desire as he finally was allowed to touch himself fully. He wasn't going to last with Frankie on the other hand murmuring sweetly about what a good boy he was one minute and then promising to hold him down and fuck him the next. _Overstimulated is an understatement._

 "Mhh- I would like that but- Frankie, I'm going to- soon I'm going to cum."

"Stop touching yourself then!" Frankie snapped and Zach pulled away immediately. He was aching with want, but he wanted, more than anything, to be good for Frankie. _Whipped is an understatement._

Instead, he listened, painfully hard, to the sound of Frankie's moans and groans, and the way that he whispered _Zach_ like it was a prayer that needed to be answered. He listened to the way that Frankie's voice became deeper with lust, losing it's flamboyant note, and how his own became higher. He listened to the way that Frankie promised both everything and nothing, and Zach wanted it all.

Frankie told him to _cum for me, baby_ , and Zach's body responded immediately.

"How was that?" Frankie askied coyly afterwards as he lay covered in his own cum wishing it was Frankie's.

"Perfect," Zach replied, and he could feel himself floating out of his own skin. 

                                   -------------------------------------- --------------------------------------

Zach Rance ordered tickets the next day to New York without asking anyone. He packed his bags and got on the next flight.

He had found his new high, and he planned to never come down.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my secound fic! Tell me if you like it and if you want to see more like it in the future!


End file.
